Monday September 23, 2019
I am surviving right now, not thriving.
How many of you feel that way? And you feel like there's no break because if you don't work, you don't get paid and if you don't get paid, then your bills will be past due and past due fines add up quickly.
I get it. Being a mom, an entrepreneur, a wife, being involved in a program that is two hours away from home (one way) just about every week, speaking, and getting prepared for a move, it's getting to me.
Yes, I am moving from Cheyenne, Wyoming, to Fort Wayne, Indiana, sometime this fall. We are trying to sell our house and secure a move date with my husband's new job and the stress is getting to me.
I saw a sign of burnout image on Facebook and I had just about every single "symptom" of burnout. I am overloaded and even though I handle most things gracefully, I am not right now. I'm taking a lot of it out on my marriage and I sense that Anthony is feeling it.
What happens when you're not okay? What do you do when you're facing burnout and it's affecting your life, sleep, and relationships?
I'm no expert, but here are actions I am taking today cope, handle and get past this in my life.
It's okay to not be okay.
I LOVE making myself wrong for how I feel or even what I am thinking and as a mom, I feel like moms get "punished" for not being okay.
I have to declare to myself that it's okay to NOT be okay.
There's no wrongness to it. I am not "bad" for thinking of how "wrong" I am. I can just be and that is okay and enough for me.
It's okay to not be okay, my friend. And it's okay to be burned out. But it's not okay to stay within this confine.
I can not be okay for this moment and I need to have a plan to get out of it as soon as I detect what's going on.
Talk to someone.
I know if I allow myself to hide within myself, it doesn't work. I have to talk with others, I need to be in communication with someone in my life that can hear what I am saying and be there with me in the midst of the messiness and the chaos of my life.
Talking to someone helps me see what's truly going on and to start the healing process so I can begin taking action. Talking to someone allows me to give voice to emotions and thoughts that put me in a deathly spiral that is leading to unhealthy thoughts and actions.
I cannot do this alone, even when I feel absolutely alone. I have to reach out. No one is going to reach out to me, more than likely, if I don't share what is going on. I have to be the first one to take the step of saying, "I'm not okay and I would like for you to listen."
Who can you talk to when you're feeling alone?
Take it One Day At a Time.
When I start to see my week at a glance, I start to seize up. I feel like I don't have time, I can't do it, I don't have the bandwidth, and so on. I have to remind myself that I can take it one day at a time.
Focus on today. Focus on what I can accomplish today and today only. Like Jesus said in Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
When I just start focusing on today, I feel as if I can do it. Then the rest of the week doesn't look too bad. I can walk into tomorrow feeling confident that I was able to handle today and all it's to-dos successfully, so I can handle this new day well too.
Stop Looking for More Work.
One action I am taking upon myself is to stop looking for more work when I get done early. As entrepreneurs, we feel like if we get done with our work early, then we have to look for other work to do.
I have stopped doing that. I had too. I felt like it sent me down a rabbit hole of to-do lists that don't really matter or doesn't impact my bank account.
What are you doing that isn't helping your life, your business, your mindset or even your bank account? Can you allow yourself to just relax and be mentally well?
My conclusion is this: although I may be in the midst of burnout, there are still things I can do and actively participate in to recover fully from this. And to trust all will work out.
I'm not saying it's easy, but my mental well-being, my son, and my marriage need me to be in a good place if I am to thrive.
In the messiness, I can acknowledge that I am not okay, I can take it one day at a time (sometimes one moment at a time), and be in communication so I can release the negativity within me and become re-energized.
How are you handling your burnout? What are a few ways you do when you notice burnout's ugly face in your life? Let me know on my page, Monica Writes, or email me at [email protected] and let me know.
I'm here for you in the messiness and the times where you're thriving!