In a recent blog post I wrote, I talked about what lessons I learned from working part time as I manage my own business. I am going to tell you yet another lesson I have learned while I am on this daunting journey of self-discovery and growth by working part time:
I have learned that it is ok to leave people behind as you’re on your journey.
It’s ok NOT to invite people on your journey with you.
A lot of people were not MEANT to be on your journey.
Don’t feel bad when you leave them behind.
You might be wondering what prompted me to think about such a thing. Let me tell you a little story about me and my journey thus far:
You see, for over a year, I was spoiled by not working a part time job and I was able to focus on my business. We were blessed that I could do this for a year before I had to break down and get a job.
During this time, I networked heavily. I was surrounded by entrepreneurs and professionals ALL THE TIME. I loved it! These people had great vibes, good energy and completely understood me. Every time I went networking, I came home refreshed, revitalized, and energized!
When I began looking for a job, which by the way (and no judging here!) was in the restaurant business as a hostess. I chose this particular position because I knew it was an easy hire and I had been a hostess before back in college. I also chose a restaurant that is only open for breakfast and lunch; so no nights for me. Which I wanted because I still networked and had obligations at night that I wasn’t going to give up.
The first month was very rough for me and the #1 reason why it was so difficult for me was because I realized that these people were NOT professionals! I had servers getting mad and accusing the hostesses of not sitting them. Our systems are still from the 1970s, so we used sheets with a “penny” to indicate who was to be seated next (imagine the movement that penny experienced when a server claimed we skipped her). To top this all off, it was a restaurant where the customers paid up front, meaning I had nosy and controlling servers coming to the small hostess stand to look at their tips and take over my job.
I couldn’t stand it! I would get so angry and upset because these adults were not acting professionally, they were controlling, and most of all, they didn’t care (neither does management)!
Since I had been spoiled with professionalism and hanging around adults, I couldn’t take it some days. I also found myself realizing that most of these people were wanting to stay servers and not go out and further themselves. For me, that was a horrible experience! How could anyone not want to get out of this place and gain a better life?!
So what changed within me? Because you know my external surroundings were not going to change!
Two things: The first change came when I went to a Christian women retreat called WOW (Women of Worship) in October 2015 where the speakers spoke about giving away your power; one way of giving it away is over explaining and being a people pleaser. This hit me because I realized that I’ve been giving away my power like candy!
Second thing that changed: I realized that not everybody is invited to partake in my journey.
It’s not that I’m being mean or snobby, but I’m a high achiever who wants to screw any job and do what I want when I want; I want to be my own boss and I want WAY more than 2 weeks of vacation per year!
Once I came to the realization of these two factors, my whole attitude changed. My job is still just that – my job, but the people are better, I am able to get along with some servers who I couldn’t stand before. Work isn’t as bad as it used to be.
Knowing that my journey and their journey is in two different lanes is completely OK with me. I can’t invite everyone on my journey because not everyone has the same dream as me. Maybe their dream is to make ends meet by serving. That’s okay. My dream isn’t that and that’s ok too.
Next time you feel bogged down by people in your 9-5 or part time job, then remember that not everyone is invited on your journey and that is 100% ok and guilt free. If they want to stay in their 9-5 job, that’s okay too. Not everyone was cut out to be an entrepreneur (if it was easy, everyone would be doing it, right?).
So who do you invite on your journey?
You invite the people who have the same vision as you; you select the few individuals who are in your life who says, “I can see you doing that” or “You will make it! Keep going!” I would also encourage you to select the people who have the same mindset as you; if you’re an entrepreneur, then select entrepreneurs to be welcomed on your journey. These people will be your light in your darkness and your traction when you’re stuck in mud. That’s who you want on your journey.
As we walk into a brand new year, who can you select today to be welcomed on your journey? How can you show them that you have officially invited them to board the Go-Getter Train? The Bigger-Than-Life-Dreams Train? It’s going to depart one day and they will either be on it or not; how can you let them know you want them on board, ready to rock and roll with you?